Probably True Corner

All the following text was initially posted by me on the PPL (Pocket Programming Language) forum in 2009 August, then removed from that site and posted again on HcH / TechKnow forum. Now I decided to post a copy on my own blog…

Probably true Corner: #6 WaterShadow  (2012/05/11)

Imagine the scene: you are driving your new car, a beautiful red cabrio, on a panoramic road, having the mountains at the left and the sea at right. The sun is brilliant and some puffy clouds have lazy movements due to a gentle breeze. Your car stereo is playing your favourite song, “Mamma”, performed by tenor Beniamino Gigli. The road is almost free, just minimal traffic, so you can follow your brain while it is remembering…You are free for three months, having sold your last project and having been paid “cash”. You automatically put a hand on your wallet to feel the sensation of thickness. What a wonderful day… you look at the sky and think: “someOne , up there, loves me”. You have a usb key in your leather jacket. It contains the final release of Uberoid that you stolen from the yacht of HCH during the party for his first billion dollars. While the host was making his speech, you gone to his cabin and opened the strong-box using the password “seven-inch-8650″. The usb key with last Uberoid release has an enormous value for your customer, the famous software house that is owned by Booble. After committing theft, you changed your frac with diving suit and abandoned the yacht swimming to the cost with your perfect style. While you’re remembering, you see a poster at road side: “Visit Paradise Beach, the best place on the sea of this planet”. Just a while to take the decision, then you go right to the exit way for paradise beach….
Paradise beach is a beautiful place, a small village built very close to the sea. The road comes from the panoramic way and goes down to the center of village. There isn’t a way out, you have to come back on the same way you come in. Along the road, all the house’s windows are plenty of flowers and there are, also, many trees; peaches, lemons, and some mellon tree that’s very dangerous if you walk very near to it, because sometime a mellon falls and crashes with a giant red splat. When you arrive at Paradise Beach, you can park under a huge tree with a large shadow. You can always find a park, cause the traffic is very rare. Well, you now are arrived in this small paradise, so park your car and wear your bathing suit, then take wallet, usb key, car stereo, car keys and the bath towel and go to the beach. Walking along the pier you find an old fisherman that is sitting on a old tyre, repairing a net… near to him stays his son, that’s studying on a net-book. Finally you’re on the beach. Take a deck-chair and stay some minute looking at the sea. It’s very inviting… but… where to leave your precious things ? You have the usb key, the money, the car keys…mmmhh. What a great idea: you decide to put all his things on the deck-chair, covering all with your bath towel. Nice, nobody can note there is a little bubble in the middle. OKAY, lets go to swim !!! Eeeeeeeeh… SPLASH. You’re are in the water… temperature: perfect. Absolute transparency, you can see up to the depth… You start swimming, parallel to the beach. Sometimes you have a little stop, just to see if it’s all right on your deck-chair, and after that, run and run again, in that perfect water under that brilliant sun. Another small stop and you see something changed on the beach. A blonde hair girl is running, making low speed footing, and wears a mono-kiny, or top-less. Every step of footing makes oscillating her (generous) top. You are now flat on water, simulating the “dead man”, but your eyes are going up and down, synchronously with the blond girl steps. You have an idea: if you can have a romanthic dinner with that girl, this will going to be a perfect day. So you fast swim to the beach, and quickly reach your deck-chair and take the bath towel  to dry yourself. But there is a problem. Under your towel there is nothing of your precious things: no usb key, no wallet, no cellphone, no car keys. Your hearth stops for a while. A quick look at the park area confirms your horrible suspect: the car too has gone. Another missing beat at your hearth. Now you turn (slowly) in the direction of blonde girl. She’s vanished. At this point you fall on the sand, on your knees, and after a couple of seconds, you lay out in the sun. A rumble of thunder awakes you. Heavy grey clouds are filling the sky, just in a moment it is a flood. Well, all this will not happen if you decide to approach my…

Invention #6: the (c) WaterShadow

This device is composed by a orange box of 36x24x12 cm. On the top of the box there is a solar cell, capable of charging the internal batteries and powering the electronic circuit inside; in the bottom part there are two small but powerful electric motors with propellers and two ultrasonic sensitive microphones. The internal part of the box is almost available to the user: you can put in your car keys, documents, usb keys, cellphone, bath towel etcetera. The all box is fully waterproof, thanks to neoprene seals. Another fundamental part of this invention is the wrist bracelet with special ultrasonic emitting capsule. When you want to swim and you have precious things, and you don’t want to leave them abandoned on the beach, put all inside your WaterShadow box and wear the bracelet. Then go into the water and take with you the orange box. When in the water, the box will follow you everywhere, using his double ultrasonic microphones for tracking your emitting bracelet. Have a nice swim and forget any problems.

Special notes:
1) If you swim too slowly, the WaterShadow can overtake you, and sometimes can play an “hurry up” with the embedded loudspeakers.
2) Some californian scientist asserts that the ultrasonic beep emitted by the bracelet can attract male sharks, but I can calm down you, it’s not true. It can attract only female whales.

Post Scriptum:
in the first release of this invention, I received a message from a friend that would make me informed about the fact that melons doesn’t grow on trees. Then I proposed a real proof of the correctness of my words, publishing this picture :)

Probably True Corner: #5 MateMod (2012/05/04)

Note: I wrote about this “invention” on the HcH/TechKnow forum, a nice place for people that likes to “mod” their tablets…

Every day, when I have some spare time, I’m here in the forum looking for news, questions and answers. I’m used to approach the problems in a “scientific” way, so close to me there is always a small bloc-notes for quickly write some data or impression or idea to develop. First of all, I divided the forum’s users in three main categories:

1) the first try people; they are so timid, so full of hope to find a solution… they come in with a message like: “Help, my tablet is bricked”.
2) the second try people; they lost initial timidity, changed seventyfive roms, started to give answers to others (of type 1) and come in with the message like: “Help, my tablet is hard bricked”.
3) the third try people; they are so accustomed to tablet’s modding that come in with messages like: “Hey, I can’t brick my tablet, please, help me giving something more difficult to do”.
Well, my new invention isn’t for guys from third type, it’s only for 1 and 2. And now, let’s go to unveal the fantastic new…

Invention #5: The (c) MateMod

This machine is (as you can easily understand by its name) an Automatic Tablet Modder. It purpose is to get a standard tablet and producing as output the same tablet modded with the latest version  of fantastic rom by HCH.

Externally, the MateMod is about 180cm high, 60 cm wide and 80 cm deep. In the front side there is a glass window with 3 rotating wheels behind it. On the right side there is a long lever, with a black sphere on the top. Again in the front dock, there is a platform with 3 buttons named [ H ], [ C ] and [ H ] placed in corrispondance with the internal 3 wheels. In the top right place there is a rectangular hole where you must slip in your tablet to be modded.
The machine can be built in multistrate wood or aluminium, but I suggest a little bit expensive way and make it in full 24K gold, ’cause girls likes much more tablets modded in such machines.
Full plans for self-construction of the machine are freely available (after a standard one million dollars donation) on my site.

How it works.

The very first step is to connect the machine to the power supply. If you don’t make this simple step, your tablet will be captured by the machine and never come out. So, turn ON. A standard music and light sequence shows you that all is ready for your first modding. Please, pick your tablet and give it a kiss, then slip it inside the receptacle. When the tablet is fully inserted in the machine, a rubber tape moves it inside the machine, under the 3 internal wheels. The light changes, now, from the previous acid pink to tech blue. You intervention is needed now, so put your hand on the lever at the right side of the machine, and pull it toward you, with all the energy you can use for this. Your mechanical energy will be immediatly transformed in electrical energy and the internal wheels will start to rotate, fast, fast, then a little bit slower, slow, slow and after a while, the first wheel at left will stop, then the second, then the third. At this point, looking thru the glass, you can see some information on every wheel. The first on the left is the “Touchscreen settings”, the second is the “Display settings” and the Third is “Wifi settings”. The three informations are absolutely random. You can accept this condition and press the “Execute” button, or can change one on more options. If you want, for example, hold the first value (Touchscreen), please press the first button on the left (the one marked [H]) and pull the lever again. The first wheel will stay locked, while the others will run again randomly. PAY attention, you can use the [ H ] [ C ] [ H ] buttons for selection ONLY ONE TIME, so be sure to do the right choose. After the second try, if you did it, the procedure of tablet’s modding is automatically started. Looking thru the glass, you will see nice gray and blue lines rolling on your (ex) tablet screen… in the meantime, the machine plays an adequate music freely arranged (due to copyright duties) from Mozart’s Requiem. After a couple of minutes, all lights and music will stop and the rubber tape will move again your tablet to the receptacle and you can get it and show to your friends, with some “yaeh”, “wow”, etc… After that, you can freely go to the forum and start your “help, please” thread. :)

Probably True Corner: #4 Wine Certifier (2012/03/12)

Hi all.
When you stay in France, sometimes will look for something to drink. Pay attention: there are bottles of water coloured in red and also some cleaning product with the same colour. So, if you want, for example, be sure to buy wine and not other substances, you will need for my…

Invention #4: the WineCertifier

This device is based on olphactive cells of the dog, so if you don’t have one, please ask to your friends and then, when they made calm the dog, gently use a cutter to take a small, small slice of his nose. When you have cut the slice, probably the dog will bark and see you with much hate in his eyes, but explain him that it’s for a great experiment, then offer to meet a female pedigree dog as repair action. Well, when you have the nose slice, fullfilled of olphactive cells, you must connect it to a microcontroller. Take two copper wires and place them on the opposite faces of nose slide. Put an aluminium foil all around and leave just a little hole open, that will be your sensor’s active area. The microcontroller will be connected to LCD display for show you the results, but the internal memory is too small to contain all the samples needed for an accurate scanning of the substance under test. So, the micro communicates with a your smartphone via Bluetooth interface and the smartphone is connected to a huge database via internet.

How it works:
Turn on the device; a blinking led will inform you about the state of the device. If the led slowly turns on and off, then the device is sleeping (remember, it’s based on dog’s nose cells, so it will follow the dogs biorhytms). When the device is on, then go in a supermarket and go toward the drinks sector. Gently put the sensor on the bottle you want to scan and press the button on the device. The nose cells will activate immediatly and you can ear a sound like “sniff sniff” coming from the embedded loudspeaker. When this operation has been completed, the resultant raw data is sent, via internet, to the big database (it’s in Italy in  “Castelli Romani” zone). In a couple of hours you will receive the answer: the bottle is wine, or water or dish cleaning formula, or all of them put together. Then you can buy it or leave it, following your istinct. Hope you can find it useful. Ask me for free plans of the entire device… Bye

P.S. no dogs were injuried by this invention, until now…

Probably True Corner: #3 Self Driven Shoes (2012/03/10)

Well, it’s time to start for holydays. I like to walk in the wild side, so I need for some instrument to find the way to came back at home when my walk has been long enough. I started to see what is on the market and found many GPS trackers that can run on PocketPC/Smartphones. The problem is that you have to look on the   display when caming back and therefore you can’t see the tree just in front of you and so you can easily crash with it. And this will be nothing if you think about big holes you can fall in, some bears and pumas or snakes etc. After that, it’s possible that your batteries are good enough for making the walk in the wild, but they are fully discharged when is time to go back. In this case you can only build a wind powered generator using materials available in the forrest (as coca cans, condoms, plastic dishes, computer magazines etc) or look for power sockets if in a gnome zone. The gnomes use power for their hoovers while cleaning in the early spring season. But pay attention, if you want to use that power sockets, you have to buy an adapter, because gnomes have differet shaped sockets (you can easily find on ebay). Ok, too much difficulties, so I decided to make my own system. Here is the…

Invention #3: the (c) SelfDrivenShoes

These shoes are very similar to others, you cannot distinguish them. In the plate rubber is embedded a circuit that gets the GPS position and stores the data to a microSD, one sample at second. There are no batteries, because in the rubber are also inserted some piezoelectric cells and some high C capacitors. When you walk, the pressure of your feet on the piezo material charges the capacitors and powers the system, so you never have discharged batteries. Every shoe has a small vibration motor, similar to ones you find in your cellphones. The purpose of this motor is to vibrate when you have to change direction. For example: if right shoe vibrate, you have to turn right, if left do, you have to turn left. If both of them vibrate at the same time, it’s signal of system error and you have to hard-reset it by kicking a stone with high energy. Due to the absence of buttons, there is a tip-tap procedure to launch the recording (go to the wild) and playback (back to home) procedures. The first is enabled by the sequence: “tippiti tippiti tap tap” and the second is: “tap tappiti tap tap tap”. This serves to the micro for understand what to do and for initial charge of capacitors.

Special notes:
1) If you want to clear the memory in order to make impossible to your wife to follow your same way, wearing your shoes, execute the reset sequence “tip tappiti tip tip tip” using ONLY the left shoe.
2) Don’t wash the shoes in washing machine
3) Don’t walk into the water (and not over the water) cause it can give you some electrical shock.
4) Don’t hesitate to make a donation to gnomes if you found them on your walk.

Probably True Corner: #2 Slice Revolver (2012/03/09)

Sometimes I have a little relax time. I’m used to sit on my chaiselongue and eat bread and marmalade. Do you know that if the bread slice falls, it does everytime with the marmalade side down ? Yes, it happens millions and millions times in all the world. I decided to solve this giant problem with my fantastic…

Invention #2: the (c) SliceRevolver

This device is a revolver, not a gun. It purpose is to make a bread slice filled with marmalade to fall everytime on the bread surface, not the marmalade one. The invention is based on a gravity sensor of the same type it’s used in the Iphone to change the screen view when you rotate the phone. The sensor sends its data to a microcontroller and this controls a microvalve connected to a microtank filled with compressed air. The entire device must be clipped on the bread slice, in the opposite of where you start eating. When the sensor detects your bread is falling on the table or on the floor, the microcontroller gets the measure then controls the microvalve. So a compressed air jet is activated and consequently the slice starts revolving in the opposite direction of the air jet stream. When the sensor detects the bread size is down, it stops the jet and you can see your bread and marmalate land on the bread side. After landing, the device sends a message to twitter with text “another slice of bread saved” then the GPS coordinates of the event, so logging all the messages you can map the amount of food saved on the entire planet. After this, you just have to blow away the dust and can continue to eat. No food is lost, no cleaning of table / floor is needed. “A little step for a man, a giant leap for mankind.”

Special notes:
1) Remember to recharge the compressed air tank after use. You can do that with a standard byke pump of normal air compressing engine.
2) Due to relatavistic effects, you can have some problems using the device while running on high speed train, specially when in a curve route. The sensor can have some problems to detect the effective gravity forces so you can see your bread and marmalade land to the nose of your opposite seat occupant. In such case, you can apologize and explain the famous relatavistic effect formula e=mc2 that you know means Energy is equal to marmalade of squared cherries.
3) There is an old-fashioned solution to achieve the same result. You have to put a second slice of bread on the marmalade, so there is no external surface filled with marmalade. This solution is less diethetic and obviously much more primitive, so I discourage to use it.

The Probably True Corner – Mad scientist’s melting pot (2012/03/08)

Mad Scientist’s melting pot.
Non-conventional hypothetical devices by
Emilio P.G. Ficara (robotop)

Preface:
Some time ago, in the summer of 2009, I was catched by the forum of PPL programming language, where my nickname was Robotop. After a discussion in which I was really out-of-topic, I decided to open a new thread called “The probably true corner”. This thread was open under a non-technical section, so, no more warnings were sent to me for “strange” ideas. Two months later, after a discussion about technical questions, I decided to leave that forum and to erase all my posts under the submentioned thread. Now, looking on my PC folders, I have found some of that posts. I think there are really interesting (and mad) ideas in them. So, I decided to post again into this space, gently offered to me by the site administrator (thanks !) .
Hope you find them interesting…

Introduction:

Hi all.
This section is chit-chat so I hope to never be “out of topic”. All the day I move and work in a digital world in wich all decisions may be only “true” or “false”, so I need for a virtual space with multiple options. I think can survive with three of them: “probably true”, “probably false” and “probably better don’t know”. In this not binary space I will describe some ideas and inventions and hope other people, bothered by binary splitting, will post their own ideas. The first invention I will describe, is dedicated to … (note: in the original post, this was dedicated to a girl that attached beautiful pictures of birds, asking for some device that can help her in bird-watching), following an “out of topic” on another forum’s section. So, let’s start…

Invention #1: The (c) BirdFreezer

This device is based on a giant solenoid mounted on rotary board, connected to an electronic power module; this power module is driven by a bluetooth and camera featured Android smartphone. The control program (BirdFreezer) is entirely written by me. When you start the program, the camera capture starts and you have to point your smartphone toward a flying bird. When the subject is in the middle of the screen, then the software automatically detects the flying direction and sends (via bluetooth interface) the relevant data to the rotary platform, so the giant solenoid is moved in the right direction. After this, the software detects the wings beat frequency and sends the information to the power module. At this point two magnetic fields are generated: one at 7.8 Hz acts as opposite flying direction, the second, at frequency proportional to the wings one, forces an opposite wings movement. The result of this interferencing fields, is that you can see, after a short air vibration, the bird absolutely “freezed” in the air !!! Then you can use your moviecam to take film effects like “matrix” just going around the bird suspended in the air. Also you can take beautiful pictures from any direction. When you have done, please “unfreeze” the bird pressing ESC on the smartphone.

Special notes:
1) due to needs of synchronization, birds MUST have wings.
2) if you need to freeze multiple birds, you have to use the multithreaded version of the software (ask for the sources).
3) In order to make the system working, birds MUST be feed with my special seed (patent pending) ToastedRoast. The magnetic field will ONLY work with this material. DO NOT attempt to make your own at home. The resultant magnetic field can have dangerous effects on the planet, first of them the north and south poles reversing.
4) all this is only “probably true”